Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sad and Confused

Yesterday was my doctors appointment with the specialist. I really wish I never would have gone. The whole appointment was focused on my CF rather than my fertility(which was the reason I went in the first place). The doctor was all 'doom and gloom'. He said that since someone with CF's life expectancy is only 37 I better really start thinking about IUI ( I guess assuming since I am going to kick the can soon). By the way, I am only 24.

He also said that I really have to think about whether or not I am ready to make my husband a widower (???). He was so negative about everything. He ordered tests to check for pulmonary hypertension since that is another thing that someone with CF can get and can lead to death after pregnancy.

I just feel like he doesn't know me at all, he doesn't know my previous health history aside from OB/GYN appoinments. He has no idea the level of CF I have and that I am able to lead an active and productive life. He assumed that since I have CF that I was automatically on disability. NO SIR, I AM NOT DISABLED. YES, I HAVE A LUNG DISEASE BUT I MORE THAN LIKELY LEAD A MORE ACTIVE LIFESTYLE THAN YOU.

When I got home, Pete asked me how everything went. I ended up bawling because I didn't know what to make of all of it.

I hate the preconceived notions that people have about CF. But him being a doctor, I have to say, I really was not expecting that. My own CF doctor didn't bat an eye when I told him DH and I were planing to TTC. He just warned me that I will have to be more closely monitored and I will more than likely have to undergo a c-section.

DH and I are still planning to TTC. I have an appointment in May with my CF doctor and I am going to ask him to refer me to an OB/GYN that is in network that some of his other patients see.

I am at a better place this morning. I know now after speaking with my loved ones that I should not let some doctor who doesn't know me at all, put an expiration date on my life and scare me away from living it to the fullest(having children).

xoxo michelle

3 comments:

  1. getting a rude doctor is one of the most, complicated confusing awful feelings. there are just no words for it. im so sorry baby doll. i hope you find a great soon real soon.

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  2. Thank you for the support. I am trying to put what he said out of my head and not get too caught up in it. DH and I plan to go with our original plan and if my CF doctor was okay with it, then I am too. I trust him more than anyone else(doctor wise).

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  3. If anyone needed a dickpunch, that doctor did! That's just pathetic, and if it was me, I'd consider reporting him for those comments, especially when you say he doesn't know how you live your life.
    My cousin's son has CF, and although he's still a young boy (pre-teen), he is a champ and an inspiration. If you weren't told he had CF, you'd never know. He doesn't let it stop him despite the frequent hospital stays, and I can tell you don't let it stop you either.
    Hope you find a great doctor soon!

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